The Internet Is For Lovers

A funny thing happened once MTV News started designing this series of stories about love and relationships: Mine ended.


As my four-year companionship reached its sunset, my comfortable cocoon of perspectives on dating, sex, and partnering up fully cracked, thrusting me into terrifyingly unknown territory. In those four years, how we date and find connection has changed entirely. The ever-growing hive of dating apps tailors to any niche desire. Ghosting has a whole squad of bitchin’ companions, like Caspering and Zombie-ing. And there really are all sorts of murky laws on how to slide into the DMs, who pays for the Uber, and what it means as soon as someone doesn’t text you although certainly stalks your Stories.


I’ve realized something in the process. While society tends to ladder everything up to finding The One, as if partners and marriage are the solutions to all our problems, I find myself on the opposite side of my relationship status without greater or fewer questions about life than I did before. Just different ones. In particular, “How are we?” Became “Who am I?”


We’re all just attempting to feel ourselves out in relation to those around us, and that’s what this package is all about. VOL.UME mines the meaning of dating, having sex, and falling in love for a generation of new adults — from getting hitched to looking for answers in the stars — navigating a culture where everything is framed by a screen.


It’s as Arabelle Sicardi poignantly writes in her fascinating report on the struggles of online dating: “The internet didn’t change the way we meet others — it’s designed it entirely.” This demonstrates that while finding romance is potentially just a tap away, the simplicity of swiping left, rejecting someone without really knowing them, is leaving several of us feeling lonelier than ever. For couples who use Insta-fame to prepare make some cash, corporation is booming, yet sharing your relationship with the world can be an especially tricky balance. Meanwhile, the sweeping impact of FOSTA/SESTA on the digital landscape makes what you could share, and what sort of work you could do, more and more limited.


Despite its hangups, social media has fostered a positive spirit of togetherness and inclusivity that informs much of the media and institutions we cherish. The characters of romantic comedies are more authentic and diverse than ever, allowing several of us to be able to see ourselves in the flicks that show love at its most cute for the opening time. Unlike generations before us, we’re defining marriage for ourselves, and that definition no longer conforms to the cookie-cutter of heteronormativity. Our universal necessary for self-love is finally reflected in the music we consume, as Lizzo, Ariana Grande, and Tove Lo inspire us to gaze inward before looking outward.


Habitually remember that the journey to find that love within yourself is hardly a straight path, especially for those who seem to have it all figured out. For global superstar Liam Payne, whose dating life has been devoured by tabloids internationally, it meant reconsidering everything he thought he knew about being partner as well as a dad. Because the One Direction alum’s debut album approaches this December, he’s a male with nothing to hide, discovering joy in the freedom of defining his life on his terms. For rising pop princess Kim Petras, it came while she turned breakup bitterness into the punchy kiss-off anthems that made her album Clarity one of the year’s most exhilarating debuts.


If there’s one thing you must take away from these stories, it’s that nothing in any relationship — with others, with ourselves — comes without a lot of work. Although there really is also value in the method of discovering something new and exhilarating about who you are. With every tap, swipe, and click, a lover’s landscape feels nebulous and ever-changing. It might be hard, yet I promise it’s worthwhile. Welcome to VOL.UME.

Back to VOL.UME: LOVE NOW.