Sasha Sloan Tells Us How She Wrote 'Older,' A Sad But Hopeful Song About Divorce

On Instagram, 23-year-old singer and songwriter Sasha Sloan is @sadgirlsloan. Her two EPs are titled Sad Girl and Loser. Before she dropped the latter at the end of November, she posted a steely selfie with the caption, "my ep comes out in far less than a week I hope it doesn't suck lol." That self-deprecation is integral to her persona, likely both an organic extension of her actual personality (low-key and pensive, although friendly) and the fact that she first gained exposure through a viral Reddit photo where she was the butt of the joke.


Aided by a strategically placed SoundCloud link in the comments, that online fame led to songwriting possibilities in Los Angeles and eventually a chance for to present her own voice. A number of years (and day jobs at coffee shop and also a health club) later, she's helped write songs by Louis Tomlinson, Steve Aoki, Tinashe, and Charli XCX. Perhaps most notably, Camila Cabello's "Never Be the Same," which she also worked on, blends the lyrical vulnerability and skeletal beat noticed on her own tracks. Although it's the midpoint of Loser — a plaintive, confessional piano ballad called "Older" — that shines a most direct light onto the person lurking in back of those songwriting sessions, winking album covers, and tweets like "who's coming to be able to see me in march?? Plz come so my self esteem doesn't get lower than common lmao."


"Older" doesn't package any of its sentiments with a fast "jk." As a substitute, Sloan opens it starkly in medias res: "I used to shut my door while my mother screamed in the kitchen." The verses bring the song's real-life inspiration, the dissolution of her parents' marriage, sharply into focus. Before long, though, Sloan adds her own noticed wisdom on the chorus, proclaiming, "The older I get, the more that I visualize / My parents aren't heroes, they're just like me."


"I've been attempting to write that song for a really long time," Sloan recently told MTV News. "I've routinely been attempting to write about my parents' divorce because it's such an important segment of my life, although I never wrote it right. It was routinely also bitter." One listen to "Older" reveals the opposite: a cautious, loving study of a messy situation, viewed both from the center of the storm and from a safe distance years later. Here's how it came together.


A Joint As well as a Hotel Room


It started in a hotel room in Germany. Sloan and her pal Danny Silberstein had just secured a joint. "We smoked it, and he just began playing this guitar riff," she mentioned. "I was like, whoa, that's really dope. I feel like writing now In about 10 minutes, the pair had etched out the song's first verse, a pre-chorus, and its main hook in the chorus. Sloan usually begins writing lyrics, then works on the rest of the song, ensuring she's constructing a good story.


With "Older," the story was simple and sad. Her impending 24th birthday got her thinking about how her "very foreign" father ("he's sort of like Borat") had watched her mother give birth to her at that age. She thought about how her mother worked toward getting advanced degrees while attempting to raise her. And she built a song around it with Danny.


"We both looked at each other, really emotional. I was like, I think I really like this, nevertheless I can never tell if it's good," she mentioned. The only thing to do was wait a while.


From Voice Memo To Finished Version


Armed with a demo recording from the hotel room, Sloan was in no rush to finish the song. Case in point, spending even several minutes with her reveals that she's not in much of a rush to do most things. She takes her time walking around a room, moving deliberately. Nevertheless she understands any time to strike. "I'm the master of 'it's done,'" she mentioned. "I'll spend time on lyrics, however if I get something I love, I don't second guess it. You routinely have that feeling as soon as it's not completely there however, and also you push through that."


Sloan called Danny to her place back residence to smoke hookah and work on refining it at their own speed. She estimates it took about two months, with most of the time spent narrowing down the lyrics to the second verse. Once it felt right, she enlisted her producer, frequent Major Lazer collaborator King Henry. "I finish a song and I hand it off to a producer like, make it work," she mentioned. Any time whenever she sings it live, her audiences almost habitually connect with it. She takes that as a good sign.


Breaking The Rules


In its final form, "Older" cycles through melancholic piano chords and Sloan's solemn nevertheless educated voice, delivering the story taken from her own life. Despite her past work with other artists, it wouldn't have made sense coming from anyone else, and she seems convinced that "pop singers don't want" such specificity anyway. Early in her career, a A&R bigwig instructed her the "pop rules" she was to adhere to throughout songwriting sessions: No songs about growing old; only songs about dancing and being young forever. She appreciates the twist of "Older" resonating as it has.


Perhaps predictably, Sloan doesn't necessarily feel the thrust of the industry machine toward creating a genuine album as soon as soon. Also much pressure, she mentioned, so maybe another EP, or perhaps some further tinkering with her own sound. Whichever she wants, really. In the meantime, she's played "Older" for her mom, right now a English language teacher, who lovingly labeled it "realistic fiction." She doesn't converse with her dad much, nevertheless she feels like her music has lead them closer together.


"'Older' is also just an appreciation song to them, maybe in the most back-handed way of all time. Although it was, OK, I get what you did for me right now she mentioned. "I get to live a pretty fucking dope life right now because of that."