Liam Payne Stripped Down: On Mental Health, Fatherhood, And Finding New Love

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By Nick Remsen


Summer 2017. It will, justly, go down in musical history because the season of Cardi B’s ascendance; the career-making single “Bodak Yellow” was released in June, and, by year’s end, it had propelled the performer into the firmament of hyper-celebrity. 2017 also marked the year of “Despacito,” released in January by Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee (only to then be remixed in April with Justin Bieber). “Despacito” was tied because the longest-running No. 1 placeholder on the Billboard Hot 100, up until Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road” broke that record in mid-2019.

Within that same time frame, another mega-hit would emerge. It was the solo debut from Liam Payne, whose years as one-fifth (then one-fourth) of One Direction have made him a permanent global force. “Strip That Down” dropped in May, featured Migos member Quavo, and was penned by the singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran. Payne describes the track as “rap singing” with a “pop melody on top.” With a bouncing intro beat overlaid with percussive snaps (and a dusting of piano-key complements), the song was palatable from the opening hook and dance-floor ready during. In essence: a satisfyingly uncomplicated, all-but-guaranteed banger that would go on to be a quadruple-platinum success (with over 300 million music video views on YouTube and nearly 700 million streams on Spotify, totaling north of 1 billion plays).


Before “Bodak Yellow” pulled its cash moves by gaining major traction toward August and onward, “Strip That Down” was what you heard blasting any time cars drove by; sun and sound and windows-down fusing with each other to prepare that fleeting, specific euphoria that supports the decide the song of the summer. “Despacito” contended, no doubt, however it had been around a little longer, and there was something additional — a listenable breeziness — about “Strip That Down” that made it linger. Payne says he couldn’t release any new material “for nine months, because they just wouldn’t take it off the radio.” According to YouTube commenters, the song has had a minor resurgence in 2019, and Payne admits he is still shocked by how keeps it up and continues to stream in the millions, monthly. “I’m like, what? It’s so old now.” The song also made a major, unmissable declaration in its chorus: Payne repeatedly voices, “You know I used to be in 1D / Right now I’m out, free.”


Fast-forward two years from the song’s release, and Payne is sitting in his London management office, jet-lagged yet energized immediately after a fast nevertheless busy trip to New York City to promote his newest single, “Stack It Up,” featuring the artist A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie. The song, which also credits Sheeran as a writer, marks Payne’s first major promotional push since “Strip That Down,” having released a EP in 2018 yet, as of nevertheless, no complete album. Though fans will not have to wait much longer: it was reported in mid-October that Payne’s first album, titled LP1, will arrive on December 6, 2019.


Consuming food a fruit salad from Pret a Manger, he is boyishly handsome, even as soon as battling time-zone disorientation. At 26 years old, the Wolverhampton, England-born Payne is father to a son named Bear (with ex-partner, Cheryl Cole) and no stranger to fame. One Direction, that union of Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, and Harry Styles, formed in 2010 right after appearing on the British version of the singing competition show The X Factor. “1D” would earn millions of fans worldwide and hundreds of millions of dollars; the musical group went on indefinite hiatus in 2016. “I’ve been doing this for 10 years,” Payne says with a smile, whenever each person in the room admits to feeling the grind of an exhausting schedule.


“We’ve gone full circle,” Payne says, soothing into his chair. “‘Stack It Up’ is the same team that made ‘Strip That Down,’ which is why it sounds like the song’s little brother.” The track is equally playful nevertheless is more about cash-lust than anything physical. It’s also slightly much less shimmery, with an attenuated keyboard pulse along with a semi-scratchiness to Payne’s vocal work. “One of the main problems I had with the song, actually, is that it’s very money-oriented, and I didn’t know if that was the message I wanted to convey,” Payne continues. “I’ve been really lucky to have excellent success, yet there have been times in my life Whenever I am sitting there, looking out at the most cute view, and all of those astonishing things are happening around me, although there’s no one there and you’ve got no one to share it with. You group kind of think, ‘Well, that didn’t fix anything, did it?’ You feel just as low as in the event you had none of it.” This is the opening bite of Payne’s ice-clear transparency. He is think-aloud and cut-to-the-chase candid, which, it can would be argued, is a rare trait for the very famous.


“So, with that in mind, we sort of switched up the lyrics so that you have dreams for you and someone else, and sending this message of working hard for what you desire to gain,” Payne says. “I was a kid from humble beginnings. My parents didn’t have a lot. They gave us what they could. The reason I love this song is that, if you’re on your way to work and you’re listening, I like to think that it gives you the urge to go above and behind for your shit.”


Love — some days messy, some days fanatical, some days deeply personalized — is piece of Payne’s narrative. His relationship with Cole, another singer (she was also discovered on TV) and personality, was relentlessly targeted by gossipy media. Likewise, his friendships (both then and right now) with the other members of One Direction. Associated with modern love — and the trials and tribulations he’s gone through to understand it, and to achieve self-love, at this point — Payne has much to mention. The path to 26 hasn't been easy: The singer has been open about facing mental health, relationship, and self-esteem issues. There really is fact and fan fiction as soon as it comes to One Direction’s split, yet Payne himself has mentioned there was strife. He even has a tattoo that reads, “We are the quiet ones,” as he felt he was never allowed to speak up on account of the group’s squeaky tidy public-facing image.


“I think each person has a love-hate thing with what they each individually do. It’s not habitually nice,” he’ll mention of his career. “You get a little bit of that feeling of turning against your profession.” Has he ever fallen out of love with music? “It can get tedious, and really there is a lot of pressure a lot of the time, which is hard. Your urge some days will not be enough. I’ve noticed that having people around you that give you unwavering support is, more than anything, what keeps me going. I know my girlfriend [Maya Henry] loves my music, and, because of that, it makes me desire to prepare the music 10 times better. Whereas in the past, there have been times While I didn’t know if I wanted to prepare any more music. You need those people around you to create ensure that you carry on.”


Payne has been cautious about being also public with Henry, whom he began dating earlier this year. As he sees it, the key to a successful relationship is “a level of calmness, more than anything.” He explains, “A lot of things in my life have happened very speedily, and I’ve not had the sense of stability with somebody in the way that I have it with her. She keeps me calm and grounded about a lot of stuff that I am typically not so at ease about. There really is never a lack of trust. It’s about having someone you could hang with, where you’re never pressured to fill the silence. Everything outdoors and about me is so high intensity now. She brings the calm.”


Recently, it was announced that Cole had been furious over seeing Payne and the singer Rita Ora performatively almost-kissing on The Tonight Show in January 2018. Tabloid junk? Probably, although while Payne and Cole seem to have struck an equilibrium in their co-parenting and post-romantic life, one does get the impression that Payne is finding the “calmness” as something fresh — and very welcome.


Decisions about what to post on Instagram, the de facto conduit for declarative relationship statuses, are, as expected, not made hastily (he only recently went “public” with a upload featuring Henry). Certainly, piece of it has to do with fame maintenance; give the audience a little bit, yet not a lot. Payne also admits to mentally working by means of the backlash and the hysteria that can follow his every move. From the One Direction days, his fandom can tread into extreme territories. “Some people can be really nasty for no reason,” he says. “And also, as soon as you’re worried about going to a restaurant or the park and being overprotective, that actually causes more problems. Because and then the paparazzi and the press get more on your shit as soon as you’re hiding away, and then whenever you do finally show yourself or reveal something, it’s a fucking frenzy. [Maya] and I don’t have any of that. We just go and do our thing. I’ve been at the point of sacrificing my own happiness for other people and their shit, however I don’t feel that way right now.”


Payne then paints it all in celebrity-speak: “I need someone who is relaxed all of the time. We had an audience of 300 ladies chasing right after us the other day in New York, and I was shitting my pants because I was attempting to get her in the vehicle so that she was safe. She got in and just began playing on her phone. I thought, ‘What is wrong with you?’ She’s not phased by any of that shit. People that aren’t impacted by the madness are really hard to find.”


Payne would not count himself as one of these people. He has been affected by acute anxiety, agoraphobia, and insecurity. He has canceled shows and, at one point, noticed himself drinking also heavily as a coping mechanism. “We all have an ideal in our heads of what we aspire to be,” Payne says of self-love. “From the moment you step in and mention, ‘I am who I think I am,’ then nothing can touch you. For a long time, I was playing this character, and in reality, I was a million miles away from it, and each person could fucking visualize that shit. You get a different level of confidence whenever you are, like, ‘I’m good.’ Self-assuredness is a powerful thing.” Payne says committing to a fitness regimen and routine has helped, also. “You become happier and more confident, more quickly.”


Fatherhood has been the No. 1 factor in keeping Payne on track and in a upward trajectory, both in terms of motivation and thinking positively. Bear Grey Payne is two-and-a-half years old and has, by nature, made his dad “a better person.” “There’s a new urgency to go to work because you know what you’re working for,” Payne says. “I shied away from the role model position because I thought I was going to fuck it up at one point. However as soon as you’re a parent, you have be. I'd like to do better and be better for him. I have to travel a lot, however I can set an example for him by doing a good job. If I don’t do a good job, then it would all be a travesty. He has to have a understanding that everything does not happen by accident. You've got to work hard for what you have, and what you want.”


At the end of summer 2019, Payne had his first “almost” conversation with his son. Bear was mad about something at school, yet eventually he calmed down, and Payne asked, “How was nursery, was it good?” “He mentioned, ‘yep.’ He kept saying it, for about five minutes, to each question. We were having a little bit chat about nursery! It was the ideal thing ever. He’s a lovely little boy, and he is so chill. I hope this continues because his dad and mum are notoriously not chill.”


Payne concludes by saying he has only “very recently” felt truly comfortable in his own skin. “I’ve just had a long conversation with a friend about this,” he says. “Don’t let your past define you. It’s not all about what you did or didn’t do. I’m on the map of where I am supposed to be, and knowing that is the key.” Liam Payne, consciously stripped down and continuing to stack it up, takes the last bite of his Pret salad.


Photographed by Charlotte Rutherford


Styled by Adele Canny


Groomed by Bjorn Krischker


Set Design by Chloe Brady


Photo Assistant: Emmet Green


Stylist Assistant: Morgan Hall

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