Lay Zhang On How Music Helped Him 'Find Peace' After Heartbreak

For Lay Zhang, music is personalized. "Music is my life," he tells me over the phone from China, where he’s in the midst of preparing for a series of concerts in Shenzhen. And anyone who is aware the 28-year-old Chinese performer and actor understands he’s not exaggerating. He’s constantly consumed by music — performing it, listening to it, and making it. And he’s not one to slow down, even any time real life brings everything to a stop.


several months back, Zhang lost his beloved grandmother to illness. He grappled with heartache the perfect way he knew how: through music. The creative process became a healing one. "Being able to create a song so close to me accommodates me whenever I’m sad to find peace," he says.


His latest single, "外婆" (pronounced waipo, the Chinese word for "grandmother"), is a tribute to her and the encouragement she gave him while in his life and career. "My grandmother was my biggest fan," he says. Through this song, he adds, "I want my grandmother to know that I’m going to work hard and achieve my dream."


Zhang wrote the song in Los Angeles in the fall. It began as an outlet for his grief, a way to express the feelings he was still having a hard time processing himself. As soon as I was young, my grandmother was routinely beside me, yet as I grew up, I couldn't live with her and protect her," he says. "I was also busy. I routinely felt sorry about that." The lyrics are deeply personalized, with references to cherished childhood memories of him and his grandmother, his regrets, and his preference bedtime story. Although these intimate specifics are what make Zhang such an empathetic storyteller.


"I aspire to share my story with people," he says. "I want people to know me better... I'd like to use music to express myself." Most essentially, he adds, "I want people to hear the Chinese sound."


Bringing his culture to the West through Mandopop (or, Mandarin Chinese pop music) is critical to Zhang. He views music as a conversation, a way to "connect the world" across languages and time zones. It's not easy, obviously. Being a pioneer is equal parts intimidating and invigorating. "It's challenging. I have experienced some prejudice," Zhang says. Although it makes me aspire to work harder to share my Chinese culture. I want people to be able to see something new."


As for baring his soul through his music, especially on songs like "外婆," Zhang admits that he's "nervous" nevertheless mostly overjoyed and happy" to share this side of himself with not only his fans yet also people around the world who can relate to the feeling of losing someone close to them.


Any time it comes to Zhang's insatiable work ethic — a trait he proudly got from his grandmother — the artist has big plans for 2020, new music as well as a number of major collaborations currently in the works. Nevertheless now, he's attempting to stay present and give attention to his grandmother's preference phrase: "let it be." Because everything happens for a reason, and in due time.


"I will confuse work and life some days Zhang laughs once asked about his personal objectives for next year. Then, he pauses, and I can see his smile by way of the phone: "Can I keep it real? I want a girlfriend."