I'm An Activist With A Stutter, And I Won't Let How People React To How I Speak Stop Me

By Mollie Davis


It was sweltering hot in Washington, D.C., On June 12, 2018, Whenever I stepped onto a little podium to give a speech at National Die-In Day, a rally recognizing the two-year anniversary of the shooting attack on Pulse nightclub and calling out the inaction of lawmakers connected with gun violence since then. A friend handed me the microphone and I started to speak, making my case for stronger gun-control laws and reading texts I exchanged with my companions on March 20 of that year, throughout the shooting at my high school. It was hard to talk about that tragic day in front of so several cameras and onlookers, yet I got by means of the speech and walked away feeling delighted of myself.


That night, I was watching a replay of the event at residence, Once I found the comments people left on the live stream. Several were kind, nevertheless one, in particular, stuck out like a sore thumb: “Spit it out, bitch.”


I am one of the 70 million people around the world who stutter. That’s one in each 100 people, however the impediment is still vastly misunderstood and discriminated against. It’s defined by the National Institutes of Health as “a speech disorder characterized by the repetition of sounds, syllables, or words; prolongation of sounds; and interruptions in speech referred to as blocks.” Nevertheless that’s often where understanding ends, and stigma begins.


Some people think stuttering is something to create fun of, an easy playground target for bullies to use against nervous kids. Others believe it’s something to be trained out of you, and films like The King’s Speech — which earned numerous accolades, including a Best Actor Oscar for Colin Firth — don’t help dispel that notion. Along with a widespread misunderstanding of stuttering has permeated some of the vitriol surrounding how certain people in the public eye speak.


To be clear, stuttering isn't a sign of low intelligence or a psychological problem; rather, current statistics theorizes that it is likely caused by the interaction between someone’s childhood language development and motor abilities need for producing speech. Yet people who stutter often struggle to be taken seriously.


Take former Vice President Joe Biden, who has had a stutter since childhood. What he says, and the tone with which he conveys it, are absolutely worth analysis; he is, right considering that, running for president, and his habit of trotting out reductive talking points rather than answering questions hasn’t resonated well with would-be voters. However critics have been quick to interpret his stutter in particular as a sign of senility and issue it as proof that he does not have the mental capacity to be the President of the United States.


Any time as a young Biden contributor who also has a stutter brought it up to the candidate in August, Biden reminded him: “It does not define you. It cannot define you.” Nevertheless that hasn’t stopped people online from judging Biden’s habit. And whichever your politics, as soon as people deride someone who stutters, it spreads misinformation that impacts the stuttering community on a much larger scale.


"The worst experience I’ve ever had with someone being ignorant of my stutter was being told by a teacher in high school that I had communication issues and needed to learn how to speak properly,” Tanuja Sowdagar, a 21-year-old student from Georgetown, Guyana, told MTV News. “At the time I hadn’t encountered another person who stuttered so it took a large toll on my self-esteem and self-confidence. Those comments lingered at the back of my mind for a long time and made me hypersensitive to any other instances of rudeness or misunderstandings I encountered.”


Often it’s not the speech impediment holding people back  —other people’s attitudes toward it seemingly block possibilities from us. It happened to me: Soon after the shooting at Fantastic Mills, I felt compelled to speak up about the impact of gun violence and what could prevent what happened at my school from happening elsewhere. That led to a series of interviews; for one of those, a producer called me to create for the spot. I instructed her that I have a stutter, and added that it’s just a “small thing,” and not an enormous hindrance. She quipped back that it didn’t “sound small.” That distinct appearance fell through for a unrelated reason, yet her remark stung. It made me feel as though I wasn’t fit to be a spokesperson for my community, and harshly reminded me that just being confident in myself wouldn’t routinely be enough.


“Unfortunately, people who stutter are stigmatized as being much less intelligent, far less competent and much less capable of being a leader based solely on their disfluency,” National Stuttering Association board member John Moore tells MTV News. “The assumption is that people who are eloquent speakers make for better politicians and leaders.”


Moore calls that belief “obviously false,” and adds that true leadership “encompasses much more than being a fluent speaker. The perfect politicians and leaders display empathy, build efficient relationships, motivate people, and make sound decisions.”


“Stuttering doesn’t lessen a person’s potential,” Sowdagar added. “We are all able to excel in each field of life if given the support, understanding, as well as a fair chance.”


I’m enthusiastic about politics, appreciate public speaking, and would love to run for public office someday. Immediately after every press appearance, class presentation, and discussion with politicians about gun violence prevention, I habitually leave wondering if people were frustrated by listening to me talk, or if they thought I was foolish because of my speech impediment. I especially have this worry immediately after meeting with lawmakers, as it’s critical to me that my experience with gun violence as a school shooting survivor is taken seriously.


It’s especially frustrating any time people cut me off to mention the word or phrase they think I’m about to mention. More routinely than not, their guess is incorrect, and yes it displays a lack of patience as soon as they can’t just wait a couple of more seconds for me to finish my own sentence. The jarring reality for people who stutter, and people who speak “differently” overall, is that you could be the smartest or most compassionate person in the room and people will still treat you as less-than just because of how you speak. It shouldn’t be that way.


“In my experience being a segment of the stuttering community for over 20 years, I have met the most incredible communicators who happen to be people who stutter,” Taro Alexander, founder of The Stuttering Association for the Young, told MTV News. “We who stutter have tangible things to issue the world in that we can teach people patience why as well as how to be a higher class of listener.”


Stuttering has shaped me into a higher end listener since I strive to give each person the same quantity of patience I would want them to give me. And as I push myself to continue public speaking, it’s reassuring to be able to see people standing on one of the most-watched stages in the country, facing some of the same struggles I do.


As frustrating as it might be to exist in such a fast-paced world as a person who stutters, I decline to stay silent. By speaking up without consideration of my stutter, I have opened doors for myself that I wouldn’t have otherwise. I hope other people take the time to listen, because right now as much as ever we need to pay attention to what each of us has to say.