'I Feel So Alone': Siesta Key's Madisson Opens Up About Mental Health Issues

it does not matter how someone's life seems, because you never know what's going on just beneath the surface. And on this week's Siesta Key, Madisson opened up about her mental health -- specifically, how she copes with anxiety and depression.


While in a "bittersweet" engagement photo shoot with her fiancé Ish, Madisson admitted to Kelsey that "it sucks" being in a somewhat long-distance relationship — primarily due to the former SK producer's frequent agency trips.


"I had hoped he could have the ability to stay for the full month, although he can't," she mentioned. "Having Ish here just supports the keep me grounded, and it's a little bit nerve-racking while he leaves."


That's whenever the bride-to-be broke into tears.


"It's just hard because I know while he leaves, I feel so alone some days. Kelsey, I don't think you learn that my anxiety gets so bad, and I freak out," she confessed.


Madisson added that this is an ongoing struggle that she'll have to "deal with" by means of the years.


"It scares me," she mentioned in between sobs. "I feel so ridiculous because there's no specific reason for me to feel this way. And I know that in theory. Like, this is something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. I'll have to deal with ups and downs and anxiety and depression, and I know that."


Kelsey reminded her friend that she can routinely open up to her and that it's pretty obvious Ish "wants to be here and isn't running away."


"I know that, and every time, he asks me [and says] 'I will stay in case you need me.' And I feel so foolish some days because there's no reason that it comes on," Madisson admitted. "I have friends who are incredible, I have a fiancé, and I just feel foolish for having any anxiety or depression because I live such a breathtaking, incredible life."


While Kelsey couldn't exactly relate to having bouts of anxiety, she proposed her support.


"You're not foolish. Everything that's going on mentally -- that's not something that you could necessarily control. It's going to happen. You can't blame yourself. That's not your fault," she reassured Madisson. "I can't mention that I have gone through that, so I'm not going even attempt to give you opinions, yet I'm so glad you're talking about it. That is really brave."


It is really brave. If you or someone you know is struggling emotionally, visit mentalhealthishealth.Us for resources and ways to get help — because mental health is health, and it also matters. Catch Siesta Key Wednesdays at 8/7c on MTV.