How Lizzo's 'Truth Hurts' Is Changing The Way We Feel About Being Single

Lizzo’s given fans so much this year, from up-tempo anthems to day-to-day mantras. The singer-rapper-flautist kicked 2019 off with “Juice,” a solitary overflowing with self-love where she refers to herself because the “baddest bitch” plus a “whole damn meal.” And while the song continued to increase popularity among her single fans over the course of a few months, nothing could’ve prepared Lizzo for the powerful, chart-climbing resurgence of “Truth Hurts” this past spring — a track she released two years back that, at the time, almost made her ditch her career altogether. “The day I released 'Truth Hurts' was probably one of the darkest days I've had ever in my career,” she told People. “I remember thinking, 'If I quit music right now, nobody would notice. This is my best song ever, and nobody cares.’” Nevertheless Lizzo wasn’t down for long, telling the mag, “The song that made me aspire to quit is the song that everyone’s falling in love with me for.”


The sudden revival of the song — which is all about embracing the single life and succumbing to the realization that males are only fantastic “‘til they gotta be great”— came whenever it was featured in the Netflix rom-com Someone Great, starring Gina Rodriguez, Brittany Snow, and DeWanda Educated back in April. The “Truth Hurts” scene sees Rodriguez dancing around the kitchen in her underwear as she drunkenly sings the most empowering post-breakup lyric: “I just took a DNA test, turns out I’m 100 percent that bitch.” It’s a big mood. And despite being two years old already, the empowering single recently reached No. 4 on the Billboard Hot 100, becoming a go-to self-love anthem for single females everywhere — several of whom doubted whether they’d ever have the ability to survive without a relationship.


“In the past, I attached my identity and worth to being loved/shown attention from another person,” Anna, a Lizzo fan, wrote to MTV News. “When the relationship would end, it abandoned me totally lost. ... Lizzo’s song helped me separate my identity from my relationship status. It helped me learn that I was worthy of love and belonging whether I was single or not.” And possibly even more importantly, it taught her to never settle for anything much less than she deserves. “After I stopped settling for relationships, I realized that that energy rapidly filtered into the rest of my life,” she mentioned. “I no longer settled for subpar. I began going immediately after what I wanted and following my dreams.”


Anna’s definitely not the only one who, at one time, noticed her worth in other people. According to online psychologist Carolin Müller, we’ve been culturally conditioned to imagine certain characteristic of our lives as positives, and relationships are one of these. “Those norms can typically driven by all kinds of media … so in the event you reside in an era where being single is imagined bad and being in a relationship is thought cool, it is common that you feel a sort of pressure,” Müller mentioned. Bella DePaulo, author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Didn't think about, and Still Live Happily Ever After, agrees, though she also says we have more than just the media to blame for feeding us the same old relationship tropes. “The valuing of marriage and devaluing of single people is pervasive,” DePaulo mentioned. “It is in popular culture, in our churches, in politics, in the workplace, in the marketplace, in schools and universities, and in everyday life. There really is no escaping it.”


But “Truth Hurts” teaches that being single isn’t a bad thing, and its music video challenges the very social construct of marriage. In it, Lizzo’s dressed as a bride, veil and all. Nevertheless soon after twerking at the altar as an alternative opposed to exchanging vows, she ultimately winds up marrying herself. Müller calls this “a reversal of values,” something also heard in identically empowering songs like Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies,” as an example — which inspired strong, independent girls to throw their ringless hands up and dance — and more recently, Ariana Grande’s “Thank U, Next,” which equally positions the pop star in a committed relationship with herself.


These songs’ positive messages help debunk the outdated notion that being single is sad, lonely, and not a status someone would ever willfully opt into. “Being single or being in a relationship does not have a direct effect on the wellbeing of a person,” Müller mentioned. And in case you ask DePaulo, “Truth Hurts” offers however another way for singles to flip the switch on the all-too-familiar narrative that relationships are absolutely key to one’s happiness. “That’s important,” she mentioned. “When it seems like singles just can’t catch a break, along comes a catchy song with empowering lyrics.”


For Ally, another Lizzo fan, those empowering lyrics have shown that you’ll never really know what you’re capable of up until you spend some much-needed time by yourself. “After coming out of a five-and-a-half-year relationship somewhat unexpectedly, I felt empty and lost,” she mentioned. “I hadn't been single since I was 16 years old so I didn't even know how to do things without having someone right there with me.” Lizzo’s celebratory words — “I put the sing in single / Ain't worried 'bout a ring on my finger” goes one standout couplet — helped Ally find an independence within herself that she never knew existed. “I think it's made me stop and appreciate the aesthetics of being on your own  — especially in your 20s,” she mentioned. “I've since come to realize how crucial it is to be on your own for a little bit. I think this time permits you to really objectively decide who you are and what you want.”


Typically, one doesn’t abruptly switch from hating being single to loving it. Although listening to Lizzo’s smile through her delivery of lines like “I got boy problems, that's the human in me / Bling bling, then I solve 'em, that's the goddess in me” can definitely make someone feel empowered in their singleness — at least for a little bit while. And in the event you determine to listen more than once, it could seriously impact your attitude in a really positive way. “Listening to this song on repeat is like reciting a mantra, or repeating a thought or a sentence every day,” Müller mentioned. “... It has a real influence on your attitude.”


Jessica, another fan of Lizzo’s girl-power anthem, can attest. Immediately after being in four different long-term relationships, she’s noticed herself feeling “lonely bored” — and it also doesn’t help that several of her companions are posting their engagement and pregnancy announcements on Instagram each week. Yet although she still feels pressure to find love, the song initiated a noticeable difference in her attitude toward being single. “[It] has given me that added boost on days While I really need it,” she mentioned. “It’s the song I get prepared to before a first date, nevertheless also the song I listen to on the way residence soon after a horrible first date. The song listen to cleaning As soon as I feel like I’m going to be alone forever, or If I visualize an ex on social media getting married.” One song doesn’t have to fully change how you feel about being single, yet if listening to “Truth Hurts” can motivate you to put one foot in front of the other and stop comparing your love life to each person else’s, then isn’t it worth listening to... Over and over and over again?


“This song made me feel confident in that other girls have experienced the ups and downs of breakups and being single,” Jessica mentioned. And it’s true. Other females — Lizzo included — have felt extraordinary discomfort in being single, although just because you’re single doesn’t mean your life isn’t overflowing with love. "Durable happiness and well-being is really not related to being in a relationship,” Müller says. “Self-love is a primordial condition for psychological well-being.” And the more songs continue to preach about self-love, the more people will truly feel it.