If Mike had one so-called significant other in Seaside way back once, it would've been Paula. The two engaged in endless,
strings-free smushing while in the better segment of three seasons, yet it wasn't up until the last few episodes as soon as the two finally DTR'd with a romantic dinner at Rivoli's and that iconic "Let's make it official" tank. Needless to say, it wasn't long before The scenario had a situation on his hands: "As soon as I gave Paula the title, she begins talking about kids, family member. I'm like, what the f**k, girl -- chill," Mike stated. Soon after he
broke up with her (at her tanning salon gig, no much less, she sought the ultimate retaliation: the delivery of a
crumb cake that had been smothered with a big ol' pair of mystery balls. (And Mike unknowingly took a big ol' bite of it.)