Challenge Chow-Down: This Holiday Menu Is Strictly For The Steel-Stomached

Forget figgy pudding, and thus long, sugarplums — this holiday season, we’re celebrating the culinary arts Challenge-style, which means the seasonal spread is gonna look a liiiiiiittle bit different.


Yup, while cider wassail or piping-hot latkes might have previously decorated your dining room in December, 2019 will mean cow’s eyes, pork snouts and blood cocktails will tickle your taste buds. And if you’re still starved for dessert, don’t worry — there really are rotted fish parts that’ll go wonderful with your espresso.


Slap on those bibs, blast Bing Crosby and appreciate our start-to-finish Challenge tasting menu, which definitely isn’t for the faint of [cow] heart. And don’t forget to tip or pay your compliments to the chef, ya filthy animal!

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  APERITIF
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Layered fish oil cocktail, served in a frosted pint glass in the middle of an open field Eastern Europe. In the event you thought mezcal was fresh, wait up until you taste the refreshing combination of this filmy omega intricate. Your Cosmopolitan could never!
  
  
  
  
  



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  APPETIZER
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Pickled fish soup, served in a bottle that order kind of looks like a host to one of these model ships…? Anyway, we left fins, scales and guts swimming in the broth, just the way your mom used to. And in the event you can’t get enough, don’t worry, you’ll get a second chance to savor this delicacy once it makes its way back up.
  
  
  
  
  



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  ENTRÉE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The visitor will have his or her choice of slimy pork nose (we smell a group preference) hardboiled cow’s eye, cockscomb skewers (like a kebab, nevertheless might damage your esophagus!) Or chicken intestine smoothie. Each served with your choice of side plus a thick layer of volcanic mud to be poured over the guest’s body. It’s in the spirit of tradition, people! Oh, and in case you desire to eat a literal rat’s head, we have that also. Never hurts to be prepared, as they say.
  
  
  
  
  



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  IL SECONDI
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Should the visitor have miraculously avoided the contracting any assortment of bacteria-born ailments by Course Four, we invite each to extend the experience by digging in to a literal deer head, served with sour shark and then some sort of horn with blood in it, we think(?). More like cornucopi-YEAH! (Subsequent trips to urgent care included in gratuity).
  
  
  
  
  



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  DESSERT
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Should the visitor seek to indulge his or her sweet tooth, we invite each to like crickets, grasshoppers and cooked frog legs. And sure, there’s a Baskin Robbins around the corner, nevertheless last time we checked, banana splits can’t kick your tonsils on the way down, and quite frankly, where’s the fun in that?