American Horror Story: 1984 Brings Brutal Murder To A Sunny Summer Camp

If you are a teen who loves to party, hang out with companions, and go swimming at the lake, you have to probably steer clear from Camp Redwood, or any other camp in a '80s movie, for that matter.


If there's anything the slasher flicks of the '80s taught us, it's that partaking in any of these things (especially sex) is apparently a bad idea. Why? A masked slasher is going to come around and hack you to bits, of course.


In the latest set of teasers for American Horror Story: 1984 (Season 9, in the event you could believe that!) We visualize all of those life lessons coming to fruition in some of the most beautifully '80s ways possible. While this doesn't look like footage pulled from the show itself, as is usually the way with teasers from past American Horror Story seasons, it certainly captures the vibe we know the show will be going for.


A pickup truck full of teens are headed to Camp Redwood (accompanied by Eddie and the Cruisers' "On The Dark Side"), although something sinister waits beneath them: a slasher. Another shot paints an idyllic scene where a teen is calming on the water at camp, before a slasher rises out of the water to claim her life, presumably. Big yikes. The Motels' quintessentially '80s "Suddenly Last Summer" drifts out listlessly over the macabre visuals for a stunning juxtaposition of kitschy and murderous. Yass, give us those Jason Voorhees Friday the 13th vibes.


The horrific festivities are getting underway this year just in time for us to begin planning our Halloween costumes, with the opening episode debuting on September 18 on FX. The scariest part is, although, the fact that Evan Peters won't be appearing in the show this season. Here's hoping he's back for the 10th go-around, at the very least.